


A Slow Thaw - Take Two

by Politzania



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: AU, Canon Divergence - the Winter Soldier is Peggy Carter, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Tony Has Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-07
Updated: 2015-10-13
Packaged: 2018-04-25 07:18:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4951498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Politzania/pseuds/Politzania
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>The Story So Far:</b> Through a time travel mishap Iron Man is in the right place and the right time to rescue Bucky Barnes after his fall from the train in the Alps. Stark figures out how to send a message forward in time to JARVIS with his when/where coordinates & the info needed to bring him back. Barnes asks to come along, and Stark brings him, hoping to negate the whole Winter Soldier situation. Unfortunately, the world apparently needs a Winter Soldier, and in the new reality, it’s former SSR/SHIELD Agent Peggy Carter. The events of <i>Captain America:Winter Soldier</i>  still take place(I assumed) and at some point after (several months?) the Avengers + Bucky manage to rescue/capture Winter Soldier Peggy.</p><p> </p><p>  <i></i><br/><a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/4891048?view_full_work=true"> A Slow Thaw </a> tells the story of Peggy's recovery and its ups and downs from her viewpoint - this is a companion piece, following the same story from the viewpoint of the other characters.    I matched up the  chapters, so you can jump between the two without spoiling either side, tho I recommend reading the "A Slow Thaw" chapters first.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [From Winter's Cold](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2097654) by [27dragons](https://archiveofourown.org/users/27dragons/pseuds/27dragons). 



> This feels terribly egotistical and more than a little _Inception_ -esque - but I couldn't help but wonder what was going on in everyone else's heads during this story. 
> 
> Most of the scenes are based on direct interactions with Peggy, but there's some "off camera" scenes as well. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“Captain Rogers - Miss Carter has accepted the invitation to breakfast and will be coming up the elevator shortly.” Steve had been nervously pacing through the common room for nearly an hour when JARVIS made the announcement. Peggy’s therapy team - Agents Hill and May, and Doctor Garner - had all agreed that she was ready to start interacting with other people, and suggested beginning with a meal. A full on team dinner would have been overwhelming, so they went with breakfast. Steve was always up early anyways and had bribed Clint to join him and make pancakes. Clint’s sharp eyes would come in handy if there were to be any trouble, as well. 

Steve’s thoughts went back to the events in Washington DC. How they had discovered that the Winter Soldier - a ghost assassin from the Cold War years - was someone dear to him from his own past. Part of him wondered how he’d even recognized her, during their fight on the streets. He couldn’t have been more astounded if it had been Bucky’s grey-blue eyes staring at him from under the long, tangled dark hair, instead of Peggy’s brown ones. 

While he hadn’t been directly involved in the operation to bring Peggy in from the cold, he had attended the twice-weekly briefings from her therapy team, where they outlined her progress. Natasha usually attended as well, sometimes bringing Clint. Steve had dragged Tony along to yesterday’s meeting, since he knew they were going to discuss this next big step. After all, Peggy wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for Tony; her mistaking him for his father had been the distraction they needed. 

He had a lot to thank Tony for, Steve realized. Most of all, for becoming the most important part of his new life. It still amazed him that he and Tony had ended up together. They had fought so much during the first several months when they’d been thrown together by circumstance. Guess the old saying “opposites attract” really does mean something. Then again, he saw a lot of Bucky in Tony, and he’d loved that jerk since he was little... literally. To have them both now - well, a guy couldn’t get much luckier, could he? They’d been snuggled together when he left the penthouse this morning. Bucky was always a late sleeper, and Tony’s nightmares had been pretty bad. 

Steve heard the elevator bell, and watched Peggy step from the car out into the hall. He was glad that the briefings had included video; while she looked a lot better than she had during their battles, she was no longer the young woman of his memories. She was older, maybe a dozen years or so; she hadn’t been taken by HYDRA until about a decade after the war. Apparently she’d been dosed with some bastardized version of the super-soldier serum; she was slightly taller than he remembered, and certainly stronger. And then there was the arm. He couldn’t even fathom how it functioned, and shuddered to think what had caused the need for it. 

Steve noticed Peggy’s posture was incredibly tense, as if she were ready to flee back to her room at any second. He had a sudden impulse to put his arms around her and tell her everything was going to be okay. But he knew that would be too much for her, too soon. 

“Good morning! Nice to see you out and about.” he called down the hallway instead, as much to alert her to his presence as in simple greeting. She turned towards him... and he saw a brief look of near-panic on her face. He was pained to think that she might be afraid of him, or not even recognize him. He’d have to be very careful, here at first. 

“Peggy... it’s me - Steve. JARVIS said you might be joining us for breakfast?” That seemed safe enough. She still seemed poised on the brink of retreat, so he waited patiently; giving her plenty of space, but keeping eye contact. After a moment, she nodded slightly. He took that as a good sign, and held out his left elbow in order to escort her to the kitchen. He was pleased to feel her hand reach through and rest lightly on his arm. 

As they walked into the kitchen, Clint recited a litany of breakfast options. Peggy seemed to tense up for a moment, but then said, in a hoarse voice, “Jarvis?” The AI replied, recommending the apple-cinnamon pancakes. She relaxed at the AI’s reply, and Clint held out a plate with a fresh stack of flapjacks. Steve offered the plate to Peggy, then set the rest down in front of himself. They’d both taken only a few bites before Tony entered the kitchen. 

\----------  
Tony had had no intention of leaving the penthouse that morning. He hadn’t even wanted to get out of bed. Over the course of the previous night, his subconscious had spewed out an inspired hellbrew of the worst parts of not only the Afghanistan ambush but also his recent time-travel adventures. He was surprised he hadn’t woken up the whole goddamn Tower with that. But his caffeine addiction was not to be denied. Unfortunately, Steve was already up & at ‘em, and Bucky... well, “not a morning person” was a vast understatement. 

It was at moments like this that Tony wondered why he didn’t have a mobile robot butler that he could summon with a snap of his fingers. Then he thought about his current bots and realized that everyone was better off if they stayed in the workshop. So he scrambled out of bed and made his weary way to the penthouse kitchen, where he found a note: “We’re all out of the good stuff up here. Will bring you both a cup of joe after breakfast. XOXO -- S” 

Leave it to the big blond goofball to sign a note with “hugs and kisses” - so damn adorable. The equivalent note from Bucky would probably read “Keep your panties on - You’ll get your f’ing coffee when I’m good and ready. PS - Or take the panties off and I’ll get your motor revving in an even better way.” Which, Tony reflected, was equally adorable, in a twisted, kinky way. He still wasn’t sure why either of them wanted to be with him. But he wasn’t arguing. 

Heaving a massive sigh, he pulled on a tshirt and flannel pants, and took the elevator to the common area and the main kitchen. The smell of Clint’s magnificent pancakes buoyed his spirits, as did the sight of Steve. Grabbing at his boyfriend’s plate, Tony rolled up a nearly-too-hot flapjack and took a big bite - just the right mix of butter and syrup - well done, Steve! Then he saw her. 

A pale, gaunt-faced woman - the fucking Winter Soldier herself - was sitting across from Steve, who was in easy reach of that fascinating, yet terrifying arm. “Steve? Why is she out here by herself? Why is she eating pancakes in my kitchen? At my table?” he blurted out, while casting his eyes around the room. Where was Steve’s shield? Why did he not keep emergency gauntlets in every room? What was Clint doing, just standing there like an idiot? Tony found himself standing behind Steve, and felt his warm hand interlacing fingers with his own, as his partner replied calmly, if a bit condescendingly. 

“Tony, if you’d paid attention to yesterday’s briefing, you would have known that Peggy has been responding well enough to counseling that she has been granted access to the common area. That includes this kitchen and this table. Besides, Barton and I are here, she’s not by herself.” Shit - yeah, he vaguely recalled being dragged to yet another briefing, where he’d amused himself by redesigning Clint’s net/tranq arrow combo so that the counterweights wouldn’t be a danger to innocent passerbys. 

“JARVIS?”, he queried, hoping that his AI would back him up. 

“Captain Rogers is correct, sir. Doctor Garner believes Miss Carter would benefit from social interaction with the team. Unlike Sir, most people prefer the company of others.” 

He didn’t need JARVIS ganging up on him this morning, he really didn’t. He felt the “fight or flight” equation tip over to the “fight” side temporarily, and his sharp tongue was always his first weapon of choice. He said his piece and left the room. But not before snagging another pancake. 

Barton caught up with him before he reached the elevator, an extra-large mug of caffeinated heaven in his hand. “Christ, Tony - what the hell was that about?” 

“Oh, I don’t know, Clint - just a bit of a shock to see one of the most feared assassins of the twentieth century up close and personal first thing in the morning.” Tony hoped his shaking hands were due more to caffeine withdrawal than the scene he’d just caused. He had to admit it had been a bit of a scene. 

“Didja forget who you were talking to, Stark? We’re all pretty damn dangerous around here. Besides, she was doing just fine til you got there.” Clint got an ‘ah-ha’ look on his face. “Wait a moment - do I detect a tinge of green in your psyche? Are you jealous of Cap and his former flame ?” 

Tony’s first thought was “Fuck no - she’s a textbook example of rode hard and put away wet, ” but he stopped himself. Holy hell, **was** he jealous? And how deep did that feeling run? Nope, can’t handle self-introspection this early in the morning. So he simply hmmph’d at Clint, grabbed the mug and continued stalking back to the penthouse.


	2. Chapter 2

The only thing that flew faster around Stark Tower than the quinjets or Iron Man was gossip... or intel, as Natasha preferred to think of it. According to Clint, Peggy’s first outing had not gone well, and it was all Tony’s fault. Surprise, surprise. Mechanical genius, yes; but he often sucked at inter-personal relationships. The man didn’t have issues - he had volumes; but she was more concerned about their guest than their host. While Natasha wasn’t part of Peggy’s therapy team, she’d attended several briefings and had persuaded the Tower’s AI to give her occasional extra-curricular updates. 

“JARVIS - what is Miss Carter’s status?” 

“Sub-optimal, Agent Romanov. She requested house arrest; and her therapy team has been alerted. Agent May is out of town and Agent Hill has an ETA of approximately 45 minutes. Doctor Garner is available for consultation after 3pm. Miss Carter is currently reviewing all available information on the Winter Soldier.” Dammit, Tony; if you’ve caused her to relapse... 

“Jarvis - patch me through to Agent Hill.” They conferred for a few moments, Natasha offering a rather unorthodox therapy proposal. Hill agreed, if somewhat reluctantly; her main concern being that Natasha was a stranger to Peggy. “I make friends quickly,” the redhead replied. She’d listened in on the session where they reviewed her own dossier with Peggy, and had been amused that Carter considered her “troublesome”. Apparently Peggy remembered the fight on the overpass. She quickly packed the items she thought would be useful and was on her way. 

Natasha knocked, but didn’t wait for a reply. “Hey. Thought you could use a haircut.” She strode confidently into the room, as if she’d been expected. Peggy, who was sitting on the floor for some reason, glanced up, a look of surprise, confusion and a hint of distrust on her face. 

“Pardon me?” Ah ha - just a bit of English spine in that reply - that’s what we want to see. 

“Self-care tends to be the first casualty of any long-term assignment. Thought I’d offer my services as a personal stylist.” She kept her tone breezy, as if she’d be equally happy to have her overture accepted or rejected. The sceptical look she received in return was priceless; anything to kick Peggy out of the cycle of self-recrimination, of withdrawal. 

“Very well. What do you want to do to me first?” Hm - she didn’t care for that wording; Peggy had had so much done to her already and Natasha hated the idea of being put in that role. Then again, she remembered moments in her own life where letting others take control was a relief. She placed a chair in front of the kitchenette sink, folded a towel over the edge of the counter, and asked Peggy to sit and tilt her head back. She checked the water temperature, pulled out the shampoo and conditioner from her bag and gently started washing the other woman’s hair. 

Natasha kept her expression neutral, and her touch professional; Peggy relaxed into the role, accepting her ministrations. After the shampoo, she towel dried, then cut Peggy’s hair. Natasha was pleased that the she didn’t so much as flinch as the sharp scissors flicked around her face and neck. She found herself humming “Tonkaya Ryabina”, a song from her own childhood. Yes, both she and Peggy had been bent to their roots, swayed by the whims of the powerful. But they had survived. 

“Next up - how about a soak in the tub?” She carried her bag into the well-appointed bathroom, assuming that Peggy would follow, as she did. As Natasha ran the water, she reviewed the bath products she’d brought with her. A chamomile blend, some lavender crystals and powdered calendula should do the trick. Soothing, relaxing herbs. 

“I’m not sure this is a good idea - Agent Hill should be here any minute.” Peggy sounded doubtful, once again unsettled. Was she pushing her too much? Perhaps; but then again, that might be exactly what she needed. 

“Maria? Nah - I waved her off. You’re fine - get in. Let me give you a little privacy.” She left the bathroom, but made sure to leave the door open. That room was ears only, and she was still concerned about Peggy’s overall emotional state. A well-placed decorative mirror allowed her to sit across the room and still watch the other woman’s general movements. Hill and May had done well in arranging these quarters ... and she suspected Peggy had already noticed the mirror as well. 

Time to get her talking a little ... starting with the metaphorical elephant in the room. “I assume the arm is waterproof?” 

“Water resistant to 10 meters. But prolonged submersion is to be avoided,” Natasha wondered if the dip in the Potomac had affected it; apparently not to any great extent. 

“How long have you had it? Our best guess was about 20 years.” She once again kept her tone casual. 

“Closer to 25. Right around the time the Soviet Union crumbled.” She paused for a few moments, as if lost in her memories. “Tbilisi was where it all went pear-shaped for me. Premature grenade explosion. You’re probably too young to remember any of that, though.” 

Natasha pushed aside some less-than-pleasant memories from her childhood. She wondered at Carter’s intel - was that an intentional hit, or simply a coincidence? Taking a deep, silent breath, she replied, “You might be surprised how much a child can remember.” Change in topic: “Barton approves of you.” 

“We spent all of a minute and a half in each other’s company. I can scarcely see how the man could form an opinion from that.” Peggy appeared to politely ignore the fact that the entire team probably knew more about her than she did herself. 

“His snap judgements are usually pretty accurate.” And they were - even before he’d read the files, Clint had said that Peggy seemed the sort to pull herself up by her own bootstraps. They were just providing her a little extra leverage. 

“What about you, Natasha Romanov? Do you approve of me? Or are you here for a second try with the garrote? After all, I did nearly kill you in D.C.” Bojemoi - she thought they’d been doing so well, but here they were back at square one. At least Peggy didn’t seem to remember Odessa; at least not yet. 

“I wouldn’t have shared my very expensive bath products if the latter were true, Peggy Carter. Let’s say you have my conditional approval at the moment.” And it was true. The former agent still had a long road ahead of her, but the tenacity she’d shown so far would stand her in good stead. She waited for Peggy to exit the bath, taking an apple from the fruit bowl in the meanwhile and cutting it into slices with her knife. As the other woman sat across from her, Natasha offered her a piece. It wasn’t exactly breaking bread, but it would do. 

“Dare I ask what the condition is?” Peggy’s expression was more serious than the tone of her words indicated. 

Natasha took her hand, her flesh and blood hand, and held it in her own. She felt Peggy flinch, but she did not withdraw. Making full eye contact with the other woman, she stated, “The condition is that you not give up. On yourself, or on the people who are trying to help you. You might be feeling a little broken right now.” 

Peggy replied with a bitter laugh. “You have no idea.” 

“No, no, I don’t - not as much as some of the other members of the team,” she continued, suggesting that Peggy talk with Clint or Bruce. “But I can tell you that broken is not ruined. Broken can be repaired. You are more than the sum of your parts, of your past. We all know that, better than most.” She recalled when Clint had said much the same to her, how he had seen something that made him disobey his order to take her out, and instead brought her in. She bestowed a chaste, sisterly kiss on Peggy’s forehead. 

“I recommend you take a nap - you’ve had a long day already. I brought you files on the team members you haven’t yet met - Thor and Bruce. And some supplemental material as well. Read through these when you feel up to it.” She’d cleared the more sensitive intel with both Banner and Barton beforehand. The tools that Banner had developed to cope with his alter ego might be of use to Peggy. She also knew that Clint still found it difficult to talk about being in thrall to Loki, but she hoped they might find some common ground there. 

\--------------

Saturday brunch was always a bit of a to-do at the Tower -- everyone in residence made a point of it to prepare (or order in) something special, and friends were always welcome. Sam Wilson had joined them on this particular occasion, and Bucky was glad to see him. Maybe they would have a chance to chat a little later in the day; he’d gotten caught in the middle between Tony and Steve as they argued about Miss Carter’s presence in the common area the previous morning. That had well and truly sucked. Knowing that it could (should) have been him they were arguing about made it even worse. He hadn’t said anything to Steve about how Tony’s time travel adventure changed the fabric of the universe - and wasn’t sure even how to bring it up. 

This morning, Steve had insisted that Peggy be invited to brunch, no matter what Tony said. Tony simply shrugged his shoulders and said, “Your call, Cap.” Bucky suspected that he thought she wouldn’t show. But she did - and apparently looking much better than she had the day before. Bucky had heard through the grapevine that Natasha had spent some time with Peggy the day before, and it seems to have made a difference. She still looked older than it seemed she should (at least by his personal timeline) and her eyes were older still. 

Steve escorted Peggy from the elevator to the dining table. The seating chart had been negotiated fiercely that morning. Tony sat between Steve and Bucky, while Peggy would be between Steve and Natasha. Since they were down at one end of the oval table - this put Bucky roughly across from the former Agent. Thor boomed out his usual over-the-top greeting, which seemed to mildly amuse her. Bucky’s smartass nature took this as a challenge and before he knew it, he was saying “Long time no see, Miss Carter, ” which earned him a death glare from Natasha. 

“Longer for me than you, it seems.” Peggy’s offhand reply caught him by surprise. Not only was that the dry wit he remembered, but apparently she was up to speed on how in the hell he’d gotten here This made him wonder, what else did she know? Everything both he and Steve had been told regarding “outing” made it seem like something that friends didn’t do to each other, even nowadays, when it wasn’t that big an issue. And there almost certainly hadn’t been time for Steve to have that kind of talk with Peggy yesterday morning. “Oh hey - that star-crossed romance thing we had? Turns out I’m queer and in a relationship with two other guys now - hope that’s OK with you.” Yeah - Steve would have a hell of a time explaining all this to his old flame. 

And then there was Tony - practically sulking in front of everybody. Bucky still didn’t quite understand what his problem was with Peggy. Hell, she’d beat the shit out of Steve on the helicarrier and shot him in the leg just a few weeks ago; compared to that, Tony had gotten off easy. Admittedly, Tony hadn’t been in love with the girl turned assassin. Steve nudged his partner and gave him his Captain America is Disappointed In You look, and Tony mumbled an apology. “So... yeah... sorry about yesterday. I don’t deal well with surprises.” 

Peggy answered levelly, “And I apologize for being a surprise.” Huh - she’d figured out how to deal with Tony already. Bucky wondered if her previous experience with his father transferred over. He hadn’t known Howard well, but could see a hell of a lot of similarities between the two men, more than Tony would ever admit to. Tony accepted her apology, calling down to the other end of the table for a surprise for Peggy - they had made sure to save back a couple of Barton’s pancakes for her. 

She seemed genuinely delighted at their thoughtfulness, and when she said how marvelous the pancakes were, even the next day, Barton replied You should have been here a couple of months ago - when strawberries were in season.” Jesus, Clint! Think before you speak already... 

Peggy responded, “I was otherwise occupied.” Bucky snuck a look over to Steve, and saw his eyes sparkling just a little. Bucky couldn’t quite tell what that meant, and it got his hackles up a bit. 

“More snark from our prodigal daughter.” Tony laughed. “ Normally makes me nervous in a woman, but it works for you. Why did noone tell me Miss Carter has a wonderful sense of humor. Steve? Bucky?” 

Bucky shrugged, “Didn’t know her that well.” And he hadn’t. She’d been a source of conflict between him and Steve, after all. It had been easy enough to think that Steve would always be his when he was a shrimpy punk. But after Erskine and Stark got a hold of him, well, all the gals came running; he’d seen the newsreels. But Carter knew Steve before Project Rebirth, so it wasn’t just the physique that had attracted her. That had been the problem. 

Steve smiled, “I was kind of biased, Tony. I thought everything about her was wonderful.” Past tense... interesting. And apparently foot in mouth disease is catching today. “Oh... that... that didn’t come out right...” Steve stuttered, a dull red rising in his cheeks. 

Tony stood and pointed across the table at Peggy. “Terminatrix. You, me, workshop. Let’s see what you’ve got under the hood.” What the hell? Before Tony could step away from the table, Bucky grabbed his arm and hissed “Tony, what are you doing?” 

“Besides trying to defuse an awkward situation? Listen - I have the entire afternoon free, which happens once in a blue moon as you well know. Miss Carter seems to be in a good enough mood for me to take a look at her arm without her ... you know... trying to take one of mine off in return. No offence, gorgeous.” Damn his quick wits. For once, Tony was doing the right thing in a social situation. 

Peggy seemed equally quick witted, with her response to Tony being “None taken”. She then quietly turned to Steve and said something Bucky couldn’t quite hear, but seemed to put Steve at ease She turned back to Tony: “I wasn’t quite finished eating, but if you’re in a hurry, we can go now.” She and Bucky both watched Tony’s eyes flick to Steve, who gave the barest shake of his head in return. Tony sat back down. 

“Far be it from me to come between a lady and a deep meaningful relationship with her brunch....” And things were back to normal, well, almost. Bucky felt Tony’s foot wrap around his ankle, so he toed off his other shoe so he could rub Tony’s calf - not as a tease, but as a comfort. It felt strange to be so hands-off with each other; the rest of the team was kinda touchy-feely to start with, and they were generally okay with a little PDA here and there (though Clint’s “Get a room” comments were getting old). But somehow, in front of Peggy, it didn’t seem right. She was a guest, if somewhat unwilling, in their home, and Steve had asked them to be on their best behaviour. Then again, keeping things on the down-low was kind of fun... 

As the meal wrapped up, Tony spoke to Peggy again. “I wasn’t kidding about wanting to check out your arm.” He went on to offer to bring some tools up, but suggested that they go to the workshop to run some diagnostics. Peggy responded, agreeing to the workshop visit. Bucky wasn’t sure who he was more concerned for between the two of them. Tony was obviously not comfortable with Peggy, but the lure of the shiny metal arm had apparently overcome his reticence. Peggy in turn, was about to be overwhelmed by full-on Tech Tony and his amazing, yet intimidating workshop. They just might need a referee. 

“I’ll come along. Tony’s been using me as a guinea pig.” he said, gesturing with his new arm. “I should at least get to enjoy watching someone else be the target of his attention.” He couldn’t resist a quick wink at Tony, enjoying the raised eyebrows and secret smirk he got in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I had to go find an appropriate song for Natasha to be humming - and "Tonkaya Ryabina" turned out to be a near-perfect choice. 
> 
> [ Youtube performance](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvXlPrCu-0o%20) \-- [ Lyrics translation.](http://www.opland-freeman.com/TOlyr.htm#anchor7)


	3. Chapter 3

Bucky followed Tony and Peggy to the workshop, keeping a close eye on both. He’d spent enough time with Tony to be able to read his body language pretty well; he was still a bit agitated, but once they had passed the threshold, he relaxed and instead seemed eager to do a bit of tinkering. Peggy on the other hand; she seemed calm enough at first, but the set of her jaw and the angle of her shoulders showed her trepidation. He wondered if the tech equipment was triggering memories for her; Bucky had personal experience with HYDRA labs and he remembered being a bit on edge himself during his first few visits to the workshop. 

Tony scooped up a stack of towels, handing them to Peggy and pointing her to the bathroom door in the corner. Bucky hadn’t considered that Tony would need to see her whole arm; which was stupid, because of course he’d done much the same thing for Bucky. But it felt different, because she ... well.. because she was a woman. Another wave of guilt washed over him. It would have been me with that metal monstrosity, he thought, if Tony hadn’t shown up. 

While Peggy was changing, Tony set up a bench and workstand and Bucky tried to stay out of the way. He was thumbing through a magazine when she returned, looking up just in time to see her uncovered shoulders and back. My god... her left side was nothing but a mass of angry scars, with what looked to be a metal bar under her skin, running at an angle across the inside edge of her shoulder blade. And he’d thought his own scars were bad... Tony must have heard his sharp intake of breath, as he wrinkled his brow at Bucky. Dammit, he was supposed to be here to put them both more at ease, not make things worse. 

“Dum-E, go get me tray 91-B.” Tony said, then continued, speaking to Peggy, who must have given him some sort of look. “No, Dum-E is one my robots, I wasn’t talking to Bucky. Trust me, he’s got plenty of nicknames, but Dummy’s not one of ‘em.” Tony threw Bucky another wink - and he blew a kiss back. 

“Is one of those nicknames ‘sweetheart’”? Peggy asked lightly. Holy hell, but she was sharp. He kept forgetting that. Tony actually sounded a bit panicked as he stammered out a reply, so Bucky came around the workbench to stand with him as Peggy tried to put Tony at ease, commenting on her long history as a spy and her observation of their brunchtime antics. Bucky followed her lead, equally nonchalant with his reply. She honestly didn’t seem disturbed or repulsed by their relationship, which both surprised and pleased him. He hoped that wouldn’t change once she found out that Steve was involved. 

Dum-E’s shenanigans provided a nice distraction - Bucky had wondered who had taught him the “shave and a haircut” knock, as the bot had been annoying the hell out of everyone with that lately. Tony finally got down to business, and once in his element, all seemed well, and Bucky returned to the magazines. 

He heard Tony tell Peggy that he needed to immobilize her arm for the scan. Bucky glanced up to see Peggy take a deep breath, steeling herself for the unpleasant task. Having seen photos of the chair in the Winter Soldier dossier, he was a little surprised she agreed so readily. As Stark finished strapping down the arm, Bucky heard Peggy’s breaths quicken, then he saw her eyes squeeze shut. Within moments, her fist was clenching so tightly, he expected her nails were nearly drawing blood. He had to do something. 

Bucky pulled up a chair, and reached out to uncurl her fingers. “Peggy? Look at me. Tell me what you remember about Steve.” The words spilled out of her, spoken with fondness and regard. While he’d heard a few of the stories from Steve already - the flagpole one was his favorite - her perspective made them seem new. The little punk hadn’t ever mentioned the grenade test, though. “Yep, that’s Steve. Did damn near the same thing out in the field - taking bullets meant for the rest of us.” he growled. 

As she spoke about Project Rebirth, Bucky glanced over to Tony, to see how he was coping. Bucky knew Tony had issues with his father, and perhaps wasn’t in the mood to hear about one of Howard’s many triumphs, but he seemed focussed on the incoming scan data. Bucky himself grew more tense as she came to events that were still very fresh in his mind: Krausberg, the formation of the Howling Commandos, and their raids on the HYDRA bases. She stopped, and asked if she should continue. 

He wasn’t sure at first. Steve had told him that the telegram Tony sent, confirming that he had survived the fall from the train, hadn’t arrived in time, and he wouldn’t say much more about it. But maybe hearing Peggy’s version would make it easier to talk to Steve at some point. So he nodded. It hurt to hear about how reckless Steve had gotten afterwards. Guess I didn’t take all the stupid with me after all, Bucky thought. And that last radio conversation - where Steve promised to meet Peggy at the Stork Club... the fact that she remembered the entire conversation, despite all she had been through - well, that was pretty damn powerful. Peggy wasn’t the only one holding back tears. 

“Peggy? The scan is done.” Tony’s voice was gentle; he’d obviously been listening as well. But he stepped away, perhaps to give them a bit of privacy. Before he could stop himself, Bucky asked, “Do you still love him?” He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer; either hers or Steve's. 

“Not the way I did so long ago.” After a moment, she continued, “Do you?” She doesn’t miss a damn trick, does she?, he thought wryly. 

“What makes you say that, Peggy?” He was curious what had given them away. 

“Steve wasn’t just mourning a friend, a brother in arms. He was mourning a man he loved. I didn’t quite see it at the time, being blinded by my own feelings. Please tell me it wasn’t one-sided.” 

It sure as hell wasn’t. Bucky reassured her, hoping that Steve wouldn’t be too upset that he’d spilled the beans... but she already seemed to know, damn her sharp eyes. When he explained about their triad, she nodded, as if filling in a missing piece. She didn’t seem fazed by it, either. 

“Not that you need my blessing, but I’m glad for you all.” And she smiled - the first real smile he’d seen from her. But he could tell she was tired; it had been a long day for her already She asked him to accompany her back to her room, after she got dressed. 

Tony sauntered up to Bucky once she had closed the door. “Wow - she took the news about us really well. Amazingly well. But you’re telling Steve. He won’t strangle his Bucky-bear.” Punching Tony lightly on the shoulder, Bucky called him an ass. Tony laughed in reply, and said he wanted to spend some time looking through the scans. “There’s something weird I can’t quite put my finger on... I’ll be up later.” 

As Bucky and Peggy left the workshop, he called out “I’ll be right back, Tin Man. Love you.” 

“Love you too, Scarecrow.” Bucky had been pleased to learn that the Wizard of Oz was one of Tony’s favorite films too... though he wouldn’t explain why it was so goddamn funny that Bucky had been a member of the Judy Garland fan club way back when. She was a cute gal, what could he say?

As the door closed, Peggy’s smile returned, this time with a twinkle in her eyes as well. “Don’t try to tell me Steve’s the Cowardly Lion - that man has more courage in his little finger...” 

He interrupted, “Nope - he’s the Wizard of Oz - grants Tony ‘n’ me our every desire.”, giving her his best Groucho Marx eyebrow waggle. He wondered if he was pushing her sensibilities a little too far, only to see her break out into laughter. Guess he’d made the right call after all. 

As the elevator doors opened on her floor, she spoke. “I know you came to the workshop today for Tony’s sake. He’s not comfortable around me, perhaps for good reason. But I wanted to thank you for your help, for giving me something to focus on during that dreadful scan.” 

He smiled, perhaps a bit tightly. “You’re welcome, Peggy. But I got something out of it too. Learned a few things about Steve that he probably wouldn’t have ever told me.” 

“Very true - our friend plays his cards close to his chest, doesn’t he? I’ll let you get back to the workshop. Thank you again, Bucky.” And she kissed him on the cheek, gently, before closing her door behind her. That kiss was what broke him. 

\------------  
Steve was sitting on the couch in the penthouse, working on a sketch, when he heard the elevator open. 

“Done already? I figured you guys would be at least another hour or two...” and he suddenly found himself with a lapful of Bucky. His face was pressed tight against Steve’s chest, arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders. Body curled tight and trembling slightly. 

“What happened, Buck? Is everyone OK? Did Peggy ..... have a relapse?” Steve panicked for a moment, then realized JARVIS would have sounded an alert if there had been any sort of situation in the workshop. He then realized Bucky was mumbling something quietly, almost to himself. “It shoulda been me.... not her, goddamn it, .... not fair, not right ...” 

What was Bucky saying? Did he think that Steve wanted to be with Peggy now? That he would give up the best thing that ever happened to him? Not now, not ever. Yes, back then, Steve had believed that he and Peggy would end up together, after the war. But it was only because he and Bucky could not be together - not that way. But now they could, they were, and it was all he had ever wanted. 

Steve stroked his beloved’s hair, telling him it was ok, everything would be all right, he wasn’t going anywhere, that he loved him dearly. He’d expected Tony to be a little rattled after spending time with Peggy, but Bucky’s reaction surprised him. Once he calmed down a little, maybe they needed to talk. 

\----------------  
It had taken Steve and Bucky both to pull Tony out of the workshop at a semi-decent hour. He’d found something in Peggy’s arm that didn’t seem to belong and had dug through some old semi-classified Soviet data. He shared his suspicions, and Steve grew quiet. “I’ll head to DC in the morning - see if Wilson or any of our old SHIELD contacts have info that could help. We should have realized this earlier.” 

Tony replied. “I’ve already given Bruce a heads up - we’ll work on this end here tomorrow.” 

After not nearly enough sleep, Tony and Bucky went to meet Bruce in the common area the next morning, asking JARVIS to page Peggy. Natasha, with her usual unerring sense for something in the wind, was already in the kitchen, nursing a chai latte. They quickly brought her up to speed, just as their guest entered the room. Tony noticed the grey smudges under Peggy’s eyes seemed to be fading, and she didn’t seem quite so skittish. He wasn’t looking forward to breaking the news to her, so he nudged Bruce. 

“Greetings, Miss Carter.” Banner said.” Tony’s been up most of the night going over the scans of your arm, and he thinks he found some sort of tracking gadget. Now he’s concerned that there may not just be the one.” He continued, saying that her recent excursions outside the secure quarters may have been enough for HYDRA to have gotten some sort of fix on her. Natasha then chipped in with her bits of intel, confirming that they were indeed hot on her trail. When she asked Peggy if she knew anything about the trackers, the woman’s reply was puzzling. 

“Give me a moment. Romanov, you’re carrying, aren’t you?” What the hell did that mean? Tony watched Peggy sit down and close her eyes. She became absolutely still for a moment.... and then the Winter Soldier appeared right there in front of them. Her entire being had changed: her posture, her demeanor, even her gaze was completely different. Tony found himself frozen in place - taken back to the rooftop, when he’d faced the Soldier for the first time, with no suit to protect him. Yes, definitely have to install emergency gauntlets in here - right next to the fire extinguisher and first aid kit. 

The woman that had been Peggy just a few moments ago started speaking in a monotone voice, as if reading from a dossier. She gave descriptions and locations for four different tracking devices: the one that they’d already located in her metal arm, and three implanted in various parts of her body. Tony hoped someone was making note of all this; he wasn’t sure he could remember it all. Bucky’s arm wrapping around his shoulders was a godsend. As he leaned into his lover’s embrace, Peggy made one last comment that he didn’t quite catch before her head dropped and she slumped slightly in the chair. 

Tony heard himself say “What the hell was that? Did she just go all Exorcist on us? That wasn’t Peggy; that was ... the Soldier.” Was he the only one who was freaking out? Not quite - Bruce’s knuckles were white, as he clenched the tablet in his hand, and Natasha was holstering a pistol that he hadn’t even realized she had on her, as she said. “No, Tony. That, apparently, was Agent Carter getting us the information we needed.” 

By this time, Peggy had apparently come back to herself. She blinked a few times, and looked questioningly at them. Bruce, who apparently had been paying better attention than Tony, repeated the intel she’d provided, concluding with “You said information was not available for the fifth device.” 

Bucky added, “Not exactly. I believe her exact words -- in her own voice -- were, ‘The icy bitch won’t give me the file.’” Tony stifled a semi-hysterical giggle, while Bruce gently admonished Peggy for letting her alter ego off the leash. She briskly replied to Bruce that she thought it was an acceptable risk, and she wanted the goddamn trackers gone ASAP. Tony would heartily . second that... and he felt a idea start tickling around the edges of his brain. 

When Bruce replied that he wasn’t that kind of doctor, she threatened to go after them herself. That sounded like the Peggy Carter Steve had reminisced about. The room was getting a bit tense, so Tony took that as a cue: “Sounds like informed medical consent to me, Bruce. JARVIS, put the Tower’s medical team on standby. Let’s rock and roll.” He made a “round ‘em up” gesture and headed towards the elevator. 

Natasha volunteered herself as companion (and possible bodyguard - but he wasn’t sure for whom); and Tony was surprised to hear Peggy ask Bucky to come along as well. He smiled at the “immoral support” quip - yes, he liked that gal’s sense of humor. The Winter Soldier still scared the hell out of him, but maybe there was more to Peggy Carter than what he thought he knew.


	4. Chapter 4

They had all agreed to tackle the tracking device in the metal arm first, since they knew exactly where it was. The location of the other trackers had been general: left shoulder, right thigh and pelvis, so they would need the medical equipment currently enroute to the workshop to pinpoint and extract them as well. 

Tony had left yesterday’s setup in place, and Peggy was already in the restroom, changing clothes. Natasha had taken a detour to the coffee shop in the lobby - she knew all their favorite drinks. While Bruce was putting together his game plan, Bucky came up behind Tony, putting his arms around his beloved’s waist. 

“You doing okay, dark eyes? I thought you were going to lose it when the Soldier came out to play.” His voice was light, but Tony felt tension in the other man’s body. Bucky had been a little off since the night before. He hadn’t come back to the workshop right away, like he said he would. In fact, it was several hours (according to JARVIS; Tony had totally lost track of time, as usual) and it was both Steve and Bucky who tag-teamed him back to the penthouse. 

Steve, looking concerned, had pulled Tony aside briefly this morning, before he left for DC, asking what had happened that afternoon. Tony didn’t have a chance to say much before Bucky, fresh from the shower, joined them. On the elevator down to the workshop, Tony had put two and two together. 

“What about you, Buckaroo? I remember what you told me about the changes in the timestream.... that before I travelled back in time, it wasn’t Peggy who was the Winter Soldier. If this,” Tony gestured around to the workbench and tools he had laid out, “is too much for you, just say the word. Natasha can sit with Peggy while I tinker.” 

Bucky shook himself, sighed and said. “No, that’s alright. If it helps either of you for me to be here, then this is where I’ll be. It’s just not fair. Goddamn HYDRA.” 

Bucky was apparently going to tough it out, and Tony knew better than to talk him out of it.

“No arguments on that, sweet cheeks.” Tony angled his head back to collect a quick kiss as Natasha returned bearing the nectar of the gods. Once Peggy was prepped for the extraction, Bucky took her hand and said “Whatcha want to chat about, Peg?” 

“Your turn - tell me about Steve.” she replied. As Tony started lifting plates on the outside of the arm’s bicep, he was surprised to hear Bucky say. “Ok - let me tell you about how that little punk stole my heart.” He hadn’t heard this story yet, not from either side. As Bucky spun the tale, Tony found himself falling in love with both of them all over again. Peggy seemed completely engaged by Bucky’s words, completely forgetting what Tony was up to, which was fine by him. He still wasn’t sure just how the arm functioned, and was careful not to cut any wires or dislodge any of the bits and pieces other than his target. 

“Speaking of stupid kids, let me tell you just how long Tony was pining after our favorite Captain before we finally ganged up and tripped him.” Bucky laughed as Tony took a mock-swing at him with a spanner. 

Tony replied, “That story, my good lady, will have to wait for another day because... I finally got that rat bastard tracking device unhooked.” It had been a fucking kludge, wedged in between layers of circuitry. He dropped the mechanized tumour on a tray that Dum-E held out. The bot razzed the device, and took it over to the xray scanner for future dissection while Bucky helped Peggy free herself from the straps. 

She thanked Bucky for his assistance, in a way that also indicated that he didn’t need to stay on her account. Tony wondered if she’d picked up on Bucky’s edginess as well; she had claimed to be an astute observer of body language. He also wondered if she wanted more privacy for the next phase. If so, he’d be happy to give it to her. He needed to take a closer look at the device, and start firming up his plans for it and its sinister companions. 

\---------  
No matter how many times he told the team he wasn’t that kind of doctor, they still relied on him for any and everything medical-related, thought Bruce. He’d picked up quite a bit via on-the-job training, but he felt a bit out of his depth here. Pulling shrapnel out of Steve’s back before it healed over, or stitching up Clint yet again was one thing, but exploratory surgery? Really? 

As he finished testing the equipment they’d had sent down from sickbay, Natasha came over and put a calming hand on his arm. “Hey, need a scrub nurse? I’ve got some medic training. Between the two of us, we should at least be able to get the first two bugs before handing things over to the sawbones.” He appreciated her offer, and her confidence in him. To be honest, he appreciated Natasha for a lot of reasons. 

Peggy had changed into a hospital gown, and joined them, sitting on the edge of the gurney. They decided to start with the device in her shoulder, as it was the largest and oldest, according to her intel. It was easy enough to find, especially after reviewing the xrays that had been taken right after her rescue, while she was still unconscious. 

The amount of metal scaffolding that supported the arm explained the landscape of scar tissue that wrapped around the left side of her body, shoulder to waist, spine to sternum. The tracker was nestled right next to the keel-shaped rod that angled across the inner edge of her left scapula. It felt as if it were nearly the size of an egg, though slightly flattened. 

“Peggy, I’ve found the first device. I’ll be using local anesthetic to numb the area. Are you ready?”

“Quickly, please.” She sounded a little tense; and Bruce didn’t blame her a bit. She probably felt as if she had ticking timebombs inside. Natasha handed him the syringe of lidocaine. He gave it a few moments to take effect, then made the necessary incision to remove the device. Tony came up behind them, saying "Hm - positively ancient. That tech is twenty years old at least. Same with that garbage I pulled out of the arm - I bet they’re still using the Argos system and telnet. How quaint.” 

Bruce reminded him that Peggy had said that the other devices were more recent vintage; and then they were interrupted by JARVIS. Agent Hill had something to discuss with Peggy. Bruce and Tony gave the women a bit of privacy, taking the second device over to where Tony had been working. 

“Tony, do you really think you can pull this plan of yours off?” Bruce said quietly. With a gleam in his eye, Tony replied, “If we can get the other two devices out intact - I should be able to fake it well enough to trap some of those fuckers....” Natasha, standing behind them (she was so damned sneaky!) said “Which fuckers would those be?” He sketched out the basics for her briefly. She narrowed her eyes at him for a moment, then said. “I’m in, and Clint will be too.” They watched Agent Hill leave, then Bruce and Natasha rejoined Peggy. 

“Apparently my accommodations here at the Tower are being upgraded.” she said brightly. Bruce made a note to tell Tony; it might impact his scheme. They moved on to the next tracking device, using an ultrasound machine to locate it deep in the front of Peggy’s right thigh. Bruce really wasn’t comfortable with this, but in for a penny, in for a pound. Even with multiple shots of anesthetic, he could tell Peggy was in pain before the removal was complete, although she seemed somewhat distracted, lost in her own thoughts. 

They took a break at this point, as everyone’s nerves were a bit on edge. Bruce told Peggy she really shouldn’t have anything to eat at this point, based on the location of the fourth device - somewhere in her pelvic region - they might have to perform surgery. She blanched a bit, but then opened her bag, pulled out a novel, and started reading, while the rest of them had a late lunch. 

As Bruce started the ultrasound scan to search for the fourth tracker, he discovered yet another reason to hate HYDRA. He was no ob/gyn, but anyone who had taken a basic anatomy class would be able to see beyond the shadows of internal scar tissue, see what was no longer there. He glanced up to see Natasha staring at the screen, a momentary look of unimaginable loss on her face. He hadn’t realized she felt such a connection to Peggy. Neither of them spoke a word to their patient; either she already knew what HYDRA had taken from her, or she didn’t - it wasn’t their place to say anything. But the tracker was there - and he dutifully noted its position before saving the scans for review by the medical team. 

He stepped away to call up to sickbay, requesting to speak with Doctor Chandrasekhar. She had the best bedside manner, and sense of discretion of the medical staff on site, in his opinion. He brought her up to speed, without giving away the identity of the patient. While she and the rest of the staff had clearance, the team had all agreed that the fewer people who knew that the Winter Soldier was in residence, the better. 

Bruce returned to Natasha and Peggy, with surgical drapes in hand. Peggy gave him a determined look, saying “I’m not going under, Bruce. I refuse general anesthetic. Give me a spinal block if you have to, but I can’t .. I can’t.” Her voice broke on the last few words, showing her vulnerability for perhaps the first time that day. 

He acknowledged her fears, saying “Peggy. I understand. I’ve had my share of undesired medical interference.” He then explained that they were bringing in someone with surgical expertise, but her identity (as well as her arm) would have to be under wraps for now. She nodded, putting her trust in him. He hoped he was worthy of it. 

Doctor Chandrasekar joined them a few moments later, explaining the plan to use a laparoscopic procedure for extracting the device. She also confirmed that a spinal block and a mild sedative should be sufficient; Peggy looked quite relieved at that news, but there was something in her face that made him suspicious. He watched carefully as one of the staff gave Peggy a pill - presumably the sedative; and watched her palm it. He couldn’t blame Peggy - after all the medical horrors she’d been put through, any chance to remain awake and aware seemed prudent. 

Bruce let the medical team do their job, while Natasha watched over Peggy. The procedure took less than an hour, and Banner took the device over to Tony for various scans and tests while Peggy recuperated from the effects of the spinal block. They reconvened once she seemed stable, and the first words out of Peggy’s mouth were “What about the fifth tracker?” 

Tony responded, “Good question, my dear. Still no idea where or what it is?” She shook her head. It had obviously been a struggle for her to pull the information they had, and after the events of the day, she certainly didn’t seem to have either the physical or mental strength to try again. Tony had one of his bots run a scanner over her, watching the readout closely. When Banner tried to peek over his shoulder, Tony quickly reached out and tweaked the display, which seemed odd. 

Once the bot had finished the scan, Tony announced there appeared to be something around the base of her skull, but he thought it was inactive - he couldn’t get any kind of reading or ping from it. Bruce wanted to try for closer look, maybe with the ultrasound, but Tony casually dismissed him, saying it was too small and too close to her spinal column. He then started talking about dinner, and Peggy getting to enjoy her new accommodations. Bruce knew Tony well enough to suspect something was going on below the surface, but he wasn’t quite sure what his end game was. They left the workshop and joined the others in the common area kitchen for dinner.  
\------------  
Steve boarded the Acela Express back to New York City late in the afternoon. Tony had offered to send a jet, but he actually preferred travelling by train - it gave him time to reflect. He’d needed that time this morning. Natasha had sent him a quick text as he boarded the train to Washington with the news that there had been confirmation of multiple tracking devices and they were working to locate and remove them. She also shared the intel about a branch of HYDRA being on the hunt for their missing asset. So Tony’s suspicions had been correct, damn it all. 

The trip hadn’t been as fruitful as he’d hoped. He’d touched base with the team while still at Sam’s and sent them what little info he’d gathered about the current status of Red Hydra, along with a couple of other covert intelligence organizations that were interested in acquiring a skilled, programmable assassin. He’d be damned if he let them get hold of Peggy again.

Steve watched the scenery go by - a snapshot of everything that had changed over the past three quarters of a century. He had more or less adjusted to living in the twenty-first century, with some days going better than others. But to suddenly discover that his latest enemy was in fact a woman he had cared deeply for in his former life ... well, that was a shock to the system. He knew they’d made the right call, to rescue and rehabilitate her, but he still hadn’t sorted out his emotions around the whole situation. 

He’d asked Tony and Bucky to play it cool around Peggy, and had appreciated their discretion (footsie under the table at brunch notwithstanding). Their relationship was complicated at best, and not something that seemed important for her to be aware of, at least at first. He also wasn’t sure what, if anything, still existed between Peggy and him. 

He had almost convinced himself that he loved Peggy. He had thought that maybe she was falling for him, too. He knew he loved her spirit, her inner strength, the way she believed in him. That would have been enough for what was expected of a soldier. Get married, have kids, all that jazz. But now he could have what he really wanted - with Bucky and with Tony. He had many fond memories of Peggy and cared for her immensely, but it wasn’t love. Not anymore. 

His phone buzzed - another update from Natasha. Four of the five devices had been removed successfully, and Tony had said the fifth device was nonfunctional. Peggy was recovering in one of the guest suites - her therapy team had okayed her release from the secure quarters. There was a text from Tony as well: “Tinkering with the trackers - I think I can fake the fuckers out if you want to go for it. Come see me ASAP. XOXO” Steve had something to take care of before he went to see Tony - knowing him, they’d be pulling an all-nighter. He pulled up the maps app on his StarkPhone, to see if there were any florists between the train station and the Tower. 

Steve found himself outside Peggy’s new suite before he could second guess himself. He knocked and was invited in. She was dressed in pajamas and a robe, hair down around her shoulders. In the light of the reading lamp. she looked younger, softer. As he offered her the get-well/housewarming bouquet he’d picked up, he realized that this was the first time he’d given her flowers. And he wondered, just for a moment, how different their lives could have been, if he been able to meet her for that dance after all. 

When she thanked him, Steve replied “You’re welcome, Peggy. After all, you’re still my best girl.” Nostalgia had tripped his tongue; it wasn’t what he’d meant to say. And while technically accurate, the statement denied the larger truth of his life. But somehow, she already knew. 

“No, Steve, not any longer. As I said earlier, a lot has happened to both of us, since the war. I see you have best boys now, a long-time beloved and a new beau - both of whom love you very much. You and I... well... it seems it wasn't meant to be.” Her eyes were wide and bright and honest and he felt his own cloud over in self-reproach. 

“Peggy, I’m so sorry...” and their embrace, while not that of lovers, was no less heartfelt. He found himself begging her forgiveness, lips pressed into her hair. He’d never meant to hurt her, to hurt anyone. She had been so good to him, and he felt as if he’d never been able to repay the favor. 

Peggy silenced him with a look, saying “Never apologize for who you are or who you love, my dear. I will always care deeply for you, Steve, just not the way I did before. I’m glad you’ve found a place where you belong and can be who you’re meant to be.” She placed a soft, innocent kiss on his lips and sent him home. 

\------------------------  
Tony had long ago learned to function on minimal sleep - he would crash and burn eventually, but he’d had to strike while the iron was hot. The bad guys were already bearing down on their prey; and he was doing his best to confuse the trail. Yes, he was taking some risks - not everyone was privy to all the elements of the plan - but the end would justify the means. 

Steve and Natasha and Bruce were perhaps the best-informed - he’d needed Steve’s strategic mind, Bruce was his Science Bro, and Natasha had invited herself to the party. Which probably meant that Clint knew about both the target and the lure. Thor would be holding down the fort; he was told Tony had discovered a nest of snakes and his job was to make sure none crawled back to home base. Keeping things simple was best when it came to the Asgardian. 

It was earlier than he would have liked when his little trap was sprung - the assholes were actively pinging within the five mile radius and closing. “Heads up everyone - this is not a drill. Let’s go fry up some calamari!” 

They were wheels up in 10 minutes - a quick jaunt across the river, then onto the roof of the warehouse - all in stealth mode. Clint and Bucky leapt across the alley to set up their nests, while Tony, Steve and Natasha entered the building and took up ambush positions. They were on radio silence, and didn’t have long to wait. They heard two vehicles pull up outside - one of which was a heavy truck, from the sound of the diesel engine. Tony had wondered what kind of strike force they would send out to retrieve their asset, and what techniques they would employ. One of the troops kicked the door in, and the battle was on. 

They were just wrapping things up when JARVIS interrupted - “Sir, Miss Carter is requesting a status report. Shall I reply?” 

“No harm in letting her know now, I guess... go for it. You can patch the open comm link to her room as well.” Tony replied. He heard JARVIS’s response to Peggy: “It appears Sir’s plan to use the trackers as decoys has been successful. The operatives that were assigned to take you back into HYDRA custody are being neutralized as we speak.” 

Tony added “ “But we had a little surprise party going for them instead. Bucky and Clint, great job picking off those goons. Mostly non-lethal shots, looks like, so we’ll be able to ask some questions. Steve and Nat did some damage to the ones who made it inside - I hardly even needed to fire up the repulsors. Unfortunately, the head honcho took himself out once he saw what was up. Thor, Bruce - looks like you can stand down.” 

JARVIS broke in unexpectedly “Sir - it appears some sort of override command has been used on Miss Carter. She is in a kneeling position on the floor in her room, and she seems to be bleeding rather profusely.” 

“Shit. Keep an eye on her vitals. I’ll be right there.” Fuck - had he guessed wrong on that last device? He’d taken a closer look at the scan when he went back to the workshop alone. He could have sworn it was just a health monitor and transponder - not a transceiver. He’d wanted to make sure the HYDRA bastards knew she was still alive, but assumed the other four trackers would be sufficient decoy to lead them right into the trap. Had they somehow communicated with their Asset - triggered a command? And why the hell was she bleeding? 

“Sir - Miss Carter seems to be losing consciousness - her pulse is erratic and blood pressure is dropping.” 

Tony made a beeline to the Tower. “Dammit - I’d better take a shortcut - remind me what floor she’s on again?” He’d have to gauge his repulsor blast carefully to minimize the flying glass - hopefully she wasn’t right in front of the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is becoming much more of a challenge than I expected...


	5. Chapter 5

Steve had spent entirely too much time recently sitting at the bedside of someone he cared about. Perhaps it was karma for his early, sickly years. He still hated it, though. The patient stirred, her eyelids fluttering. “You gave us a bit of a scare, there, Peggy." Tony had sped back to the Tower on his own once they’d learned she was in distress, though it wasn’t at all clear what had happened. 

Tony had told them everything was under control and they should stay on site and finish what they’d started. Steve wasn’t happy about it, but couldn’t argue too much. With SHIELD still in shambles, post mission cleanup was a lot more involved. It had been the better part of two hours before the rest of the team had gotten back to the Tower. 

“I gave you a bit of a scare? Oh, that’s rich.” Her disdainful tone took him totally by surprise - what could she mean? As she explained what had happened: how she’d been kept in the dark, and that her former HYDRA handler had contacted her - no, not just contacted, but commandeered her - her words hit him like a body blow. He stumbled through his stunned reply, explaining the operation as he had understood it, as Tony had outlined. “I thought you were in on all this.” 

“I was not,” she replied frostily. “Apparently Mister Stark is keeping secrets. Jarvis - why didn’t you say anything?” The AI replied that as Miss Carter was not an active team member, she was not included in the mission briefing. Steve felt his temper rising; he couldn’t believe Tony had taken advantage of her in order to run the ops. Wait - what was that about a message? 

“Miss Carter indicated via a note that the fifth tracking device was indeed active and that HYDRA was in contact with her - apparently they knew where she was and were on their way to retrieve her. She was concerned that your mission was a trap, and indicated that any verbal communication might be picked up by the device, hence the written message. She then armed herself with knives from the kitchen. That is how she sustained her wound, albeit accidentally.”

This was just getting better, Steve thought - a fifth goddamned tracker? Peggy was saying that Tony had told everyone it was disabled; therefore he was lying or he was mistaken ... 

“... he’s never mistaken when it comes to technology.” Steve finished. “So you really thought that we were all in danger... Oh, Peggy, I am so sorry. I can’t believe Tony did this.” That wasn’t quite true - he remembered how reticent Tony had been to share.. well... anything at the beginning of the Avengers Initiative.

Peggy, on the other hand, had Tony’s number, responding, “I can. He doesn’t trust me. I’ve seen abundant proof of that. Stark men do not easily bestow their confidence in others; I’ve known that for years.” 

“But he has to understand that you aren’t the Winter Soldier. That it wasn’t you who....” Yet another chilling fact they’d learned about the assassin’s past missions, this time thanks to Zola himself. That the Winter Soldier had caused the fatal car crash that killed Tony’s parents. 

“I don’t think he can ever get over that, Steve, and for good reason.” 

“Tony is a difficult man, Peggy. I’ll talk to him.” Their talk might be a bit louder and more forceful than usual, but he would do his best to remain civil. This behaviour was not acceptable. Peggy was not a resource to be used without her say-so; that would make them no better than HYDRA. 

“Please, Steve, let me deal with this. I don’t need you to fight my battles. I never have.” She spoke firmly, her emotions once more under control. She had a point, but he had leverage that she didn’t. He made his goodbyes, and went to go find Tony. 

\---------------------  
So, that had been awful... Tony thought, sitting at the common area’s bar, a tumbler of as-yet untouched scotch in his hand. Dear old Dad could have taken a lesson from Steve on how to most effectively express both anger and disappointment over Something Tony Fucked Up. Objectively, he was right... keeping Peggy in the dark had been a terrible thing to do. And Tony truly had no idea that the last tracker was also a communication device, and that her former handlers could take control of her remotely. 

But Steve hadn’t seen how easily she had re-assumed the Winter Soldier mantle. Yes, she’d shaken it off once she’d gotten what she needed, but she’d gone in voluntarily. Tony found that more frightening than an accidental trigger, that she could choose to become that killing machine at any time. The machine that had murdered his parents. 

Tony put the glass aside (with a bit of effort) and descended the stairs to his workshop. Scanning the room, he saw something out of place. 

“JARVIS - why isn’t DUM-E at his charger station?” 

“Sir, his presence has been requested elsewhere.” What the hell? There were protocols - the bots were restricted to the workshop unless he or Pepper said otherwise. No, wait - JARVIS was also authorized in case he or Pepper were not available, and there was some sort of emergency. Apparently his AI defined “emergency” a little differently than he did. 

“Ok - where is that sneaky little bastard?” 

Five minutes later, Tony was standing outside the door to the secure quarters. He wasn’t sure this was a good idea. He’d left sickbay before Peggy regained consciousness; whether out of guilt, or the fear of her wrath he couldn’t say. Probably both. But he knew Steve wouldn’t let things rest until he made some sort of apology to her. 

He knocked, speaking to her through the door, asking permission to enter with the excuse of retrieving his wayward bot. She gave it, but stated that she had specifically asked for Dum-E’s presence. “I could use his expertise... and I needed a friend. Someone who wasn’t afraid of me, didn’t feel sorry for me... didn’t want me to be something I wasn’t. At the moment, that seems to eliminate everyone except him.” Wow - that was some industrial grade acrimony, there. And not entirely unwarranted. 

He attempted to lighten the mood, unsuccessfully. Even JARVIS was ganging up on him. Fine - he’d say his piece - do what he came to do. “So - apparently I fucked up today... yesterday... whenever the hell the HYDRA takedown happened.” 

“Yes. Yes, you did.” She wasn’t giving a goddamned inch. And he couldn’t blame her. 

He explained about the fifth tracker; how he thought it was a health monitor only, that they’d needed it to convince HYDRA she was alive. That he had no idea it was also a communication device and that she would be in danger. Besides, they’d left two of their heaviest hitters - Thor and Bruce - at the Tower just in case, to protect her.

She zeroed in on the remaining flaw in his plan - that he hadn’t told her anything. And she was correct, he hadn’t trusted her. How could he? “When I see you turn back into that dead-eyed assassin right in front of me? Yeah, no. You’ve done a lot of damage to the Stark family over the years. More than you know.” 

“I remember that December day well, Tony. I couldn’t stop the Soldier from carrying out the mission, but ...” 

And Tony went for the sucker punch. He told her all about the letters he’d found in his father’s safe. The love letters Howard had written to Peggy, a dozen years’ worth and more. From November 1943 late into the next decade, months after her second disappearance. His father had bared his soul in those pages, writing how she made him want to be better, to live up to the ideals of her Captain, even as he failed her again and again. God, how that hit close to home. 

Tony watched her face as he talked - her expression at first incredulous, then contemplative.  
He finished his little speech: “ But then he crawled into the bottle and settled for another woman, who knew he was doing just that. And then eventually I showed up. Just think - if things had been a little different, I could have been your kid.” And wasn’t that a hell of a “might have been”? A thought then struck him like a blow to the gut. “Tell me he didn’t know it was you, at the end.” 

No such goddamned luck. Peggy said it was planned to look like an accident (it did - until the SHIELD/HYDRA data dump), and she was told to confirm the kill in person. His father had survived the crash, and had a little surprise in store: a command phrase. Tony could scarcely believe her next words. “He ordered the Soldier to watch over you from the shadows, to protect you from HYDRA. To become a double agent. With his last words, he commanded me to take care of his boy.” Tony didn’t even know what to think about that - his sleep deprived system was struggling with this emotional roller coaster. He listened to her apologize for not being there to protect him from his own hubris. So not her fault. 

Peggy continued: “You were very brave to reach out, to bring me here. I was confused, disoriented lost. You looked so much like your father... I knew somehow you were someone I could trust. I’m sorry I haven’t said thank you before now.” She took a deep breath, and stood. “So what was a mission for the Winter Soldier, I now do of my free will. Dum-E, help me finish what we started.” 

Tony watched, frozen in fascinated shock... as she, with Dum-E’s help, removed the arm. He hadn’t even been sure that was possible from the scans. At the very least, she must be in considerable pain, with nerve endings exposed, bio-electrical impulses running riot. 

“Peg, you don’t have to do this,” he breathed. He’d never meant for her to sacrifice so much. 

She shrugged on a jacket and was saying something about a list of safe houses, and needing a 24-hour head start. No, that couldn’t be right - she couldn’t be talking about leaving, could she? In her condition? Apparently she was. He had one chance left to try to make things right. 

“Dum-E, would you tell Miss Carter she’s being difficult?” He stood, turning to Peggy. “You might have noticed the name of our little team of superheroes, Miss Carter? Avenging is kind of what we do. Taking on the bad guys, protecting the innocent, so on and so forth. It’s something we’re pretty good at. So don’t worry about us. We want you here, Peggy. We do, not just Steve. My trust issues, while not my most endearing quality, are nothing new and not your fault. Please stay, and let us help you.” She looked closely at his face as he promised to take care of the last tracking device. He hoped she could tell that he meant what he was saying. He’d never forgive himself if she left. 

“Do we have a deal?” He reached out a hand, and waited. She nodded, placing her hand in his. 

“Very well, Tony.” she replied, but he saw the pain behind her smile. 

\---------------------  
He hadn’t done what he was supposed to, Clint thought. He knew Natasha had given her the intel, and he didn’t mind that so much, having her know she wasn’t the only one taken against her will and forced to turn against former allies. He just wasn’t good at the whole talky-talky thing. Especially with someone who was a stranger, although she was less so, now. 

Sure, they’d interacted in group settings - she’d even gotten up early one morning and beat him to the griddle, claiming she’d learned to make crepes from French Resistance fighters - but they’d never sat down for a heart-to-heart chat, like everyone had intended. Clint still had issues with being a team player. And it was still difficult for him to talk about, years later. 

Instead, he’d been observing her, albeit from a distance. After all, it was what he was best at. He felt as if he knew her in ways that no one else did: her body language, the tilt of her head, the angle of her shoulders. He could tell in a moment how she felt, what she was thinking. He’d had to make adjustments to his observations after she ditched the arm, but the previous lessons carried over. He’d noticed how much she liked to read, and seemed to enjoy the couple of movie nights they’d held at the Tower since her arrival. Maybe that was the key. Shared experiences through narrative or some bullshit like that. 

Checking through JARVIS’s film library - he found a promising choice. As odd as it seemed, the Disney cartoon had spoken to him when he watched it, not long after the Battle of New York. He skimmed through to make sure he remembered the highlights (the Russian accent of the scientist was unfortunate - he hoped it wouldn’t be a trigger for her) and started checking with the team to make plans. Thankfully by now, everyone was used to Clint’s cockamamie ideas - and the fact that they usually worked out, somehow. 

He’d had to cross his fingers that Peggy would cooperate and not retire to her suite after dinner. But she had been spending more and more time with everyone, only retreating on bad days. She was doing just fine at breakfast, so they put his plan into action. Sure enough, Peggy took advantage of the empty common area, picking up a book and settling in. Clint waited about fifteen minutes, as he was supposed to have been at a mission debrief, and wandered in. 

She didn’t object to him starting up a movie, and he took position on the opposite end of the sofa. At first, he was afraid he’d misjudged, as she returned to her novel after a cursory glance at the screen; but as the story started to unfold, he noticed her eyes drifting back to the film. Bruce came in next - Peggy liked and trusted him, so he sat in the middle. Then Natasha - the two of them had connected well, so she stretched out across the back of the sofa. 

They weren’t trying to crowd Peggy, or make her uncomfortable. It was his job to keep an eye on their charge, to make sure she wasn’t being pushed too far, too fast. But physical touch was an important part of emotional healing, and it was the way they all expressed themselves. Thor provided a nice diversion, asking about the luau scene, as he propped himself up in front of the sofa. 

Clint suspected the next few scenes would be difficult for Peggy. When Jumba pondered “What must it be like to have nothing, not even memories to visit in the middle of the night?” , he watched her eyes close, head dipping slightly as if to deny the words she heard. And as Stitch continued to wreak havoc on the screen - she retreated behind her book. Natasha gave him a warning look, questioning whether this was such a good idea, but he winked back. Have a little faith, already. 

He expected her to react to the Aloha Oe scene, and Stitch going into the woods. He’d had to stop the film at that point himself. Since Peggy didn’t have the remote, she left the room. But she didn’t go far; just to the kitchen. This gave Steve, Tony and Bucky a chance to join them. When she returned, he could tell the jig was up. She knew the gang was up to something, but was willing to play along, at least for a little longer. They made a place for her, right in the center of the sofa, between the two men she knew best. 

Clint knew the next scene would be rough - Jumba telling Stitch that he was created to destroy, denying that he could ever belong anywhere. He remembered how hard those words had hit him, and they were even more true for her. Clint leaned over, whispering in Peggy’s ear that it was going to be okay; he promised. 

The rest of the group offered their support as well, and she relaxed, just a bit. She didn’t seem terribly fond of the next several scenes, but the reiteration of “ ‘Ohana means family.. family means nobody gets left behind - or forgotten.” seemed to finally sink in. And with Stitch’s speech at the end about his little, broken family still being good... well, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house.  
Thor declared a group hug was in order, and while Peggy’s eyes grew wide for a moment, Clint watched... and she grabbed his hand, pulling him into the dogpile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh - these last 2 chapters were tough - and I have no one to blame but myself. It was an interesting exercise, at least. 
> 
> Thanks for reading - kudos & comments always appreciated.


End file.
